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What are Big Feelings?

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Summary

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Big feelings are strong emotions that can be overwhelming, especially for kids. These emotions—like frustration, excitement, or sadness—can feel so intense that kids struggle to express them in a calm way. Kids with autism, ADHD, or other developmental disabilities may experience big feelings more often or have a harder time managing them.

Frequently Asked Question

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Why do kids with special needs experience big feelings?

Kids with special needs might struggle with emotional regulation, making it harder to manage intense emotions during challenging situations.

How can parents help their kids handle big feelings?

Parents can help by teaching emotional identification, using calming techniques, and providing consistent support during emotional outbursts.

Are big feelings normal in childhood development?

Yes, big feelings are a typical part of childhood, but they may be more frequent and intense in kids with developmental disabilities.

Can big feelings impact a child's daily life?

Big feelings can affect a child’s behavior, social interactions, and learning, making it crucial for parents to address these emotions early on.

Scientific Definition

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Big feelings refer to intense emotional responses that can be difficult to regulate. These emotions often occur when a child experiences sensory overload, frustration, excitement, or distress. Research shows that self-regulation skills develop over time, but kids with neurodevelopmental differences may need extra support in recognizing, processing, and expressing their emotions in a healthy way.

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Real World Example of Big Feelings

Kids with special needs often experience big feelings in everyday situations. Here’s how Sam, a 7-year-old with autism, manages his emotions during a grocery trip:

  • At the store: Sam and his mom walk into a busy supermarket.
  • Sensory overload: The bright lights, loud noises, and crowded aisles start to overwhelm him.
  • Emotions build: Anxiety rises, frustration kicks in, and Sam struggles to cope.
  • Coping attempt: He covers his ears and rocks back and forth to self-soothe.
  • Mom’s quick action: She notices his distress and guides him to a quieter aisle.
  • Calming down: Deep breaths and mom’s gentle reassurance help Sam relax.
  • Moving forward: Feeling better, he’s ready to continue shopping.

Sam’s story highlights how big feelings can surface unexpectedly. Parents who recognize emotional triggers can step in early and offer support, making outings smoother for their kids.

How Do Big Feelings Work?

Big feelings are strong emotions that can shape how kids react to the world. For kids with autism, ADHD, or other developmental disabilities, these emotions can feel even bigger and harder to manage. Here’s how they show up in daily life:

  • Overwhelm: A child covers their ears and shuts down in a noisy room.
  • Excitement: A kid jumps, flaps their hands, or shouts when something great happens.
  • Frustration: A child throws a toy when struggling with a task.
  • Fear: A kid refuses to walk into a new classroom.
Challenge Helpful Strategy
Overstimulation Offer noise-canceling headphones or a quiet break.
Frustration Break tasks into steps and give choices.
Sadness Validate feelings and provide a comfort item.
Excitement Teach calmer ways to show joy, like clapping or deep breathing.

Big feelings aren’t bad—they’re just strong. With the right tools, kids can learn to recognize and handle them in a way that feels safe and manageable.

This post was originally published on Oct. 25, 2024. It was updated on March 1, 2025.