As a licensed practitioner who works with kids, I know firsthand how challenging it can be for parents and caregivers to help their children navigate strong emotions like anger. Whether you have a neurodivergent child or a neurotypical one, learning effective anger management coping skills is crucial for promoting emotional regulation and well-being. In this blog post, I’ll share seven practical strategies that you can teach your kids to help them better manage their anger.
Table of Contents
1. Evaluate the Anger
One of the first anger management coping skills I teach kids is to evaluate why they’re feeling angry after they’ve had a chance to calm down. What was the trigger? Sometimes, there’s a pattern to the situations that spark anger. Identifying any triggers to avoid can prevent angry outbursts in the future.
For example, if your child tends to get angry when hungry, ensuring they have regular snacks and meals can help keep that irritability at bay.
2. Express Your Concerns Calmly
Speaking calmly instead of screaming or yelling is another important anger management coping skill. When we express ourselves in a composed manner, others are more likely to listen and be receptive to what we’re saying.
Teach your child to use “I” statements when expressing their concerns, such as “I feel frustrated when you interrupt me while I’m talking.” This helps them communicate their emotions without placing blame or attacking the other person.
| Instead of… | Try saying… |
|---|---|
| “You never listen to me!” | “I feel ignored when I’m trying to tell you something important.” |
| “You’re so annoying!” | “I get irritated when you keep poking me while I’m trying to focus.” |
Read more: Kids With Anger Issues | Parents Guide
3. Take a Timeout
Sometimes, the best thing to do when we’re angry is to step away from the situation. Encourage your child to walk away and find a quiet space to cool down. This could be their bedroom, a cozy living room corner, or even outside in nature. The key is to create a calming environment where they can process their emotions without the stress of the triggering situation.
You can create a designated “calm down corner” in your child’s room with soft pillows, his favorite stuffed animals, and a weighted blanket. Whenever your child feels that anger bubbling up, he knows he can retreat to this safe haven and take some deep breaths until he feels more in control.
4. Identify Possible Solutions
Once your child has calmed down, help them brainstorm possible solutions to the problem that triggered their anger. Encourage them to think creatively and consider multiple perspectives.
For instance, if your child is angry because they feel left out at school, possible solutions could include:
- Talking to their teacher about their feelings
- Joining a club or sports team to meet new friends
- Inviting a classmate over for a playdate
By focusing on solutions rather than dwelling on the problem, your child learns to channel their anger into positive action.
5. Use Humor
They say laughter is the best medicine, and there’s definitely truth to that when it comes to defusing anger. I’ve found humor to be one of the most effective anger management tools, especially for neurodivergent kids.
Of course, the aim isn’t to minimize their feelings but rather to help put things in perspective. Being silly together, cracking jokes, watching a funny video – it breaks that tension and allows them to release some of the pent-up frustration in a lighthearted way.
Read more: Anger Management Strategies for Autism
6. Get Moving
Physical activity is a fantastic way to release pent-up anger and frustration. When your child is feeling overwhelmed, encourage them to engage in some kind of movement, whether that’s running around outside, dancing to their favorite song, or even just doing some jumping jacks.
Exercise releases endorphins, those feel-good chemicals in our brain that naturally boost mood and reduce stress. Plus, the rhythmic motions of activities like walking, swimming, or biking can be incredibly soothing and help your child regain a sense of calm.
One study found that just 10 minutes of moderate-intensity exercise was enough to significantly reduce feelings of anger in children and adolescents. So next time your child is struggling to manage their anger, try going for a quick walk around the block together and see if it helps diffuse those big emotions.
7. Practice Relaxation Techniques
Finally, teach your child some simple relaxation techniques that they can use when they’re feeling overwhelmed or angry. Some examples include:
- Taking slow, deep breaths
- Progressive muscle relaxation (tensing and relaxing different muscle groups)
- Visualization (picturing a calm, happy place)
- Mindfulness meditation
These techniques can help your child calm their body and mind, reducing the physical symptoms of anger like a racing heart or tense muscles. Plus, they’re skills that your child can use throughout their life to manage stress and emotions.
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The Mood Tuner app encourages kids to look inwards and identify their feelings, helping them understand what’s going on inside. Once they’ve recognized their emotions, they can choose from a 20+ activities designed to help them self-regulate and find their balance.
Anger is a normal and natural emotion, but it can be challenging for kids and parents alike to manage. By teaching your child anger management coping skills, you can help them develop emotional intelligence and resilience. Remember, learning these skills takes time and practice. Be patient with your child and yourself, and celebrate the small victories along the way.
Resources:
- VeryWellFamily – A comprehensive resource for parents offering practical parenting tips, strategies, and advice from experts.
- Understood – A leading resource for parents of children with learning and thinking differences, providing information, support, and tools.
- Child Mind Institute – An independent, national nonprofit dedicated to transforming the lives of children and families struggling with mental health and learning disorders.
FAQs about Anger Management Coping Skills
1. What are anger management coping skills?
Anger management coping skills are strategies designed to help individuals recognize, control, and express their anger in healthy and constructive ways, rather than through aggressive outbursts or internalized frustration. These skills include techniques like deep breathing, cognitive restructuring, and problem-solving.
2. Why is anger management important?
Effective anger management is crucial for maintaining healthy relationships, both personally and professionally. It helps individuals handle conflicts constructively, reduces stress, and prevents the physical and mental health problems associated with chronic anger, such as high blood pressure and depression.
3. Can exercise help with anger management?
Yes, exercise is a powerful tool for anger management. It helps reduce the stress that can lead to anger and aggression. Activities like walking, running, or yoga stimulate endorphin production, which naturally improves mood and decreases stress levels.
4. What role does communication play in managing anger?
Communication is key to managing anger. Expressing feelings in an assertive, but non-confrontational way, can help resolve conflicts without escalating anger. It involves being clear and direct about your needs while respecting others, which can prevent misunderstandings and resentment.
5. How can I start practicing anger management coping skills?
Begin by recognizing the signs that you're becoming angry and take a moment to pause. Use deep breathing or count to ten to give yourself time to cool down. Reflect on the situation and consider the consequences of your actions. Seek to understand the root cause of your anger and address it constructively. Practicing mindfulness and engaging in regular physical activity can also be beneficial.
Hennah is an experienced writer and researcher, helping children with autism, ADHD, and other neurodivergent conditions. As a blog contributor for Goally, she combines her deep understanding of neurodiversity with practical advice, offering valuable insights to parents and educators.
