As a licensed practitioner who works with kids, I know firsthand how challenging it can be for children with autism to manage their anger. It’s not uncommon for these kids to experience intense emotional outbursts that can be overwhelming for both them and their families. But here’s the good news: there are effective anger management strategies that can help. In this post, we’ll explore some practical tips and techniques for helping kids with autism navigate their big feelings in healthy ways.
Table of Contents
1. Recognize anger triggers
The first step in managing anger is identifying the situations or things that tend to trigger angry outbursts. Every child is different, but some common anger triggers for kids with autism include:
- Sensory overload (loud noises, bright lights, crowds, etc.)
- Disruptions to routines or expectations
- Difficulty communicating wants and needs
- Feeling misunderstood or not listened to
- Frustration with challenging tasks
I recommend keeping an anger log to track what happens before, during, and after an angry episode. Over time, patterns often emerge that provide clues about specific triggers. Once you know the triggers, you can work on reducing them or preparing your child to cope with them.
Read more: Kids With Anger Issues | Parents Guide
2. Reflect before reacting
In the heat of the moment, it’s easy to react on impulse when a child lashes out in anger. But it’s important to model emotional regulation by staying calm yourself. Before saying or doing anything, pause and take a moment to reflect:
- Is this a big deal or a little deal? Respond accordingly.
- What does my child need right now – space, support, or solutions?
- How can I help my child calm down and feel heard?
Taking that brief pause can prevent the situation from unnecessarily escalating. It allows you to be intentional in your response. Kids pick up on our energy, so the calmer we can remain, the better.
3. Respond with helpful strategies
There are many anger management strategies you can teach your child (and practice yourself) to navigate angry feelings in a healthy way. The key is finding what works best for your individual child. Here are a few to try:
- Deep breathing: Teach your child to take slow, deep breaths from the diaphragm to promote relaxation. You can make it fun by having them imagine slowly blowing up a balloon.
- Progressive muscle relaxation: Guide your child to systematically tense and relax each muscle group from head to toe. This releases tension from the body.
- Calming mantras: Work with your child to come up with a short phrase they can repeat to themself when feeling angry, like “I can handle this” or “I’m working on staying calm.”
- Movement breaks: Encourage your child to take a walk, jump on a trampoline, or engage in another physical activity they enjoy to release pent-up energy.
- Quiet spaces: Designate a calm-down spot in your home where your child can go to decompress with soothing sensory items when emotions run high.
Visual supports like picture cards illustrating different coping strategies can also be helpful. Anger is less likely to take over when kids (and adults!) have a toolbox of go-to techniques to fall back on.
Read more: 5 Anger Coping Skills for Kids
Tired of Emotional Meltdowns?
Goally’s Mood Tuner app has activities for kids with BIG emotions. Teach kids how to tune their mood with Goally. See fewer meltdowns.
The Mood Tuner app encourages kids to look inwards and identify their feelings, helping them understand what’s going on inside. Once they’ve recognized their emotions, they can choose from a 20+ activities designed to help them self-regulate and find their balance.
Remember, managing anger is a learned skill that takes practice. There will be ups and downs along the way, and that’s okay. Stay consistent, celebrate the small victories, and don’t hesitate to seek support if you need it. With patience and the right strategies, kids with autism can learn to understand their anger and channel it in positive ways. You’ve got this!
Resources:
- Autism Society – A leading source of trusted information, advocacy, and support for the autism community.
- Child Mind Institute – An independent, national nonprofit dedicated to transforming the lives of children and families struggling with mental health and learning disorders.
- Understood – A resource and community supporting parents of kids with learning and thinking differences.
FAQs about Anger Management Strategies
1. What's a quick way to calm down when I start to feel angry?
A quick method to calm down is to practice deep breathing; inhale for a count of four, hold for four, and exhale for four, which helps reduce the body's stress response.
2. Can regular exercise have an impact on my anger levels?
Yes, regular exercise can reduce stress and improve mood, making it easier to handle irritations and frustrations that can lead to anger.
3. How can I prevent small annoyances from triggering intense anger?
Prevent small annoyances from escalating by identifying triggers, using positive self-talk to challenge negative thoughts, and taking short breaks to regain composure.
4. What role does communication play in managing anger?
Effective communication is crucial in anger management, as it involves expressing your needs clearly and calmly without aggression, which can defuse potential conflicts.
5. Is it helpful to keep an anger journal?
Keeping an anger journal can be beneficial as it allows you to reflect on anger episodes, understand patterns, and develop strategies for future situations.
Hennah is an experienced writer and researcher, helping children with autism, ADHD, and other neurodivergent conditions. As a blog contributor for Goally, she combines her deep understanding of neurodiversity with practical advice, offering valuable insights to parents and educators.
