Parent Press

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What Are Neurodivergent Love Languages?

Neurodivergent love languages illustration. An infographic describing Neurodivergent love languages.

Are you looking for better ways to connect with your neurodivergent child? Communication can be one of the more challenging aspects of parenting a neurodivergent child. But it doesn’t have to be! Understanding neurodivergent love languages can help you have more meaningful connections – something we all deserve! Below we’ll explore neurodivergent love languages and how they differ from neurotypical love languages.

What Are Neurotypical Love Languages?

Neurotypical love languages are five different ways to express and receive love. Created by Dr. Gary Chapman, they’re words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. Words of affirmation are verbalizing appreciation and expressing love with words. Quality time is giving your undivided attention, like having deep conversations or doing activities together. 

Ever thought about how neurodivergent love languages could play out in real-life scenarios? Here’s a quick peek. Imagine a sweet surprise – a gift, maybe a bouquet or a handmade card – from your loved one. These gifts are tangible tokens of love, showing how much someone cares for you. Conversely, rolling up your sleeves to ease another person’s life is an act of service. Now, remember those warm hugs, gentle hand-holding, or pecks on the cheek? Yep, you’ve got it – that’s the physical touch language of love.

@goallyapps Remember this as Valentines Day approaches 💙 (… even our whole team can’t forget it after filming this in the middle of the office 😉) #neurodivergent #valentinesday #autismawareness #lovelanguagetiktok ♬ muerto gang – qubelly🗽

Knowing your individual love languages, as well as those of people you cherish, is critical. This knowledge empowers you to express your feelings effectively and guides you on how others can best show their love for you. So, parents, remember to decipher and use these Neurodivergent love languages. It’s a fantastic way to strengthen the bond with your child. It makes the expression of love more efficient and tailors it to what feels most genuine and impactful for each person. Let’s keep the conversation on love languages going!

Why Are Neurotypical and Neurodivergent Love Languages Different?

Some neurodivergent people have different ways of processing and experiencing emotions. For example, some neurodivergent people have difficulty recognizing and expressing feelings. This affects how they understand and communicate their own love languages. It also makes it difficult for neurotypical people to understand the love languages of people who are neurodivergent.

People who are neurodivergent can have different needs and preferences when it comes to sensory input. For example, a neurodivergent person may be sensitive to physical touch. Like in the new Netflix show ‘Wednesday’, the main character doesn’t enjoy being touched. So her mother acknowledges her boundaries and keeps a respectful distance to avoid making her daughter uncomfortable. 

Read More: Using Positive Affirmations for Kids

Neurodivergent Love Language Quiz

Which love language does your neurodivergent child have? Find out!

1 / 10

Does your child enjoy sharing detailed information or facts about their interests?

2 / 10

When communicating, does your child focus more on conveying information rather than emotions?

3 / 10

Do they prefer engaging in activities alongside others rather than direct interaction?

4 / 10

Does your child seem happiest when they can explore their own interests independently but in the company of others?

5 / 10

Are they enthusiastic about teaching others about their interests?

6 / 10

When playing, does your child prefer activities where they can focus on their own tasks alongside others?

7 / 10

Is your child more likely to initiate conversations to share information rather than to seek emotional support or validation?

8 / 10

Do they get excited when they find someone who shares their interests, even if they don’t interact in a typical conversational manner?

9 / 10

Are they content in social situations where they can participate in activities without the pressure of constant social interaction?

10 / 10

Does your child seem comfortable engaging with others when they’re engaged in similar activities nearby?


Neurodivergent Love Languages

Info Dumping

Info dumping is a way for neurodivergent people to express their love and affection. It’s when a person shares a lot of information, facts, ideas, and feelings all at once. This love language allows someone to share everything they know on a subject. It can be anything from sharing their experiences to details about a specific topic. They can also discuss theories that are meaningful to them. Info dumping allows neurodivergent people to make deep connections with those around them by expressing their knowledge.

Penguin Pebbling

You know how penguins gather tiny pebbles to present to their mates as a sign of love? We’ve got a similar concept in neurodivergent love languages called penguin pebbling. This sweet gesture involves collecting small items or trinkets to gift to their loved ones. It’s a unique, heartfelt way for neurodivergent individuals to say, “I care.”

Understanding and valuing this act of love is key. It’s a natural communication, an earnest attempt to express love. Like other neurodivergent love languages, penguin pebbling can be an amazing bonding tool. It nurtures solid, meaningful relationships that truly matter. So, parents, keep an eye out for those little treasures – they’re tokens of love, pieces of a language spoken from the heart.

Neurodivergent love languages. A kid plays with a toy elephant near many small pebbles.
Read More: How To Host a Party for Neurodiverse Kids

Parallel Play

Parallel play is where kids play alongside each other. However, they don’t have to interact or constantly communicate with each other. A neurodivergent person may feel more comfortable and secure in a relationship when they have their own space and independence. All while still feeling the presence of their loved one. Parallel activities, where one person reads while the other does a crossword, can provide a sense of connection without the pressure of communication. 

Deep Pressure

Deep pressure is a type of sensory input and is a common neurodivergent love language. It’s the sensation of firm, even pressure applied to the body. Like a hug, weighted blanket, or deep-pressure massage. For some neurodivergent people, deep pressure provides comfort and security. It can even help neurodivergent people regulate their sensory system. For example, a person can hug their loved one or a parent could give their child a weighted blanket when they watch a movie. 

Support Swapping

Support swapping is both providing and receiving support within a relationship. It involves helping each other through difficult times, sharing resources, or providing emotional validation. For neurodivergent individuals, this form of support can be vital for building and maintaining healthy relationships. Support swapping can come in many forms, like providing a safe space for open conversations, holding hands, going to doctor’s appointments together, or participating in other activities.

Goally | Kid’s Tablet for Building Emotional Regulation Skills

Is your child struggling with understanding and managing their emotions? Goally teaches emotional regulation skills in a fun and interactive way!

The Mood Tuner app encourages kids to look inwards and identify their feelings, helping them understand what’s going on inside. Once they’ve recognized their emotions, they can choose from a variety of exercises designed to help them self-regulate and find their balance.

Keep in mind, being neurodivergent doesn’t exclude someone from having neurotypical love languages, and the opposite is true as well. The capacity to articulate various love languages is key in any connection. Grasping someone’s specific desires, expectations, and needs makes it more straightforward to provide support and foster a deep bond. Individuals with neurodivergence may demonstrate affection and gratitude differently, so it’s crucial to invest the time in discerning what resonates with them. Having this understanding lays the groundwork for richer relationships built on reciprocal comprehension and respect.

FAQs About Neurodivergent Love Languages

What are neurodivergent love languages?
Neurodivergent love languages are how individuals with diverse neurological development express and receive love through gifts, acts of service, and physical touch.
How can understanding neurodivergent love languages help my child?
By knowing your child's neurodivergent love languages, you can enhance communication, strengthen your relationship, and support their emotional well-being.
What are some examples of neurodivergent love languages?
Some exam