Teach Your Kids What To Do If Someone Is Touching Them

Knowing what to do if someone is touching you inappropriately is a crucial skill every child should learn. In this guide, I’ll walk you through practical steps to teach your kids how to handle these uncomfortable situations confidently.

Key Takeaways:

• Teach your child to recognize inappropriate touch and reinforce that they have control over their own body.
• Empower them with clear, actionable steps to respond if someone touches them without consent.
• Open communication and consistent practice help your child feel safe and prepared.

If someone touches you inappropriately, it’s essential to know how to respond calmly and assertively, using specific strategies that can keep you safe.

Step 1: Teach Your Child About Personal Boundaries

The first step in helping your child know what to do if someone is touching them is teaching about personal boundaries. Kids need to understand that their body belongs to them and that they have the right to say “no” to any touch that makes them uncomfortable.

Use simple language to explain the concept of personal space and consent. For example, you can say, “No one has the right to touch you without your permission.” Role-playing different scenarios with your child can make the lessons stick, and they’ll feel more confident in expressing their boundaries.

Step 2: Identify Safe and Unsafe Touch

Help your child differentiate between safe and unsafe touch. Safe touches are those that feel comforting and are usually given by trusted family members, like a hug from a parent. Unsafe touches make them feel uneasy, scared, or uncomfortable.

Using clear examples, like a pat on the back from a friend versus a touch in a private area, helps solidify these concepts. Reinforce that any touch that feels wrong should be immediately reported to a trusted adult. This empowers kids with the knowledge to protect themselves.

Step 3: Practice Saying “No” Assertively

One of the most important skills for your child is learning how to say “no” firmly. Practice this with them using clear, strong language. Teach them to make eye contact and use a loud, confident voice when saying, “No, stop that!”

Encourage them to practice this assertiveness in various scenarios, so it becomes second nature. Role-playing can be especially effective, as it allows them to rehearse how they would respond in a safe, controlled environment. The more they practice, the more prepared they will feel.

Read more: Autism Touch Sensitivity in Kids

Step 4: Teach Them to Move Away and Find Safety

If someone touches your child inappropriately, they should know to move away immediately. Teach them to create distance and find a safe place, such as near a trusted adult or in a crowded area.

Emphasize that it’s okay to leave a situation that feels wrong, even if it means leaving without an explanation. Safety comes first. Remind them that getting away from the person who is touching them is their top priority.

Step 5: Encourage Your Child to Tell a Trusted Adult

After your child moves away, the next critical step is to tell a trusted adult. Reinforce that they will never be in trouble for telling the truth about what happened, and they should always feel comfortable speaking up.

Identify who these trusted adults are—like parents, teachers, or a close family friend—and role-play how to approach them. This prepares your child to communicate clearly and without hesitation when they need help.

Step 6: Teach Them to Keep Telling Until They Are Heard

Sometimes, a child might not be believed the first time they report an incident. Teach your child the importance of persistence. They should keep telling different adults until someone listens and takes action.

Let your child know that if the first person doesn’t help, they should go to the next trusted adult on their list. Reassure them that their feelings are valid, and their safety is the most important thing.

Read more: Understanding Unwanted Touch

Step 7: Reinforce the Importance of Body Autonomy

Continuously reinforce that your child has control over their own body. Regularly discuss boundaries and personal safety to keep these concepts fresh in their mind.

These conversations don’t have to be heavy or scary. Use everyday moments, like watching a TV show or reading a book together, to bring up the topic casually and reinforce that they are always in control.

Step 8: Use Visual Tools and Stories

For neurodivergent kids or those who respond better to visual aids, use tools like social stories, visual schedules, or even simple drawings to illustrate these concepts. Visuals can make abstract ideas more concrete and memorable.

Additionally, books that discuss boundaries and safe touch in a child-friendly manner can be a great resource. These materials help kids see that they are not alone and that many others are learning the same important skills.

Build Custom Printable Visual Schedules

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Step 9: Keep the Lines of Communication Open

It’s crucial to maintain open and honest communication with your child about personal safety. Regularly ask them how they feel about their interactions with others, and encourage them to share anything that makes them uncomfortable.

Let them know they can always talk to you without fear of punishment or judgment. This open line of communication helps kids feel safe and supported, which is vital for their well-being.

Step 10: Celebrate Their Strength and Courage

Finally, celebrate your child’s strength and courage for learning these important skills. Reinforce that knowing what to do if someone is touching you is a powerful way to stay safe, and they should feel proud of their ability to protect themselves.

By celebrating their progress, you’re encouraging a positive mindset and reinforcing the importance of self-advocacy. Remind them that being assertive and speaking up are brave acts that will help keep them safe throughout their lives.

Teaching kids what to do if someone touches them is about giving them the confidence and tools to stay safe. With practice, open communication, and lots of encouragement, your child will know how to handle these situations with confidence and resilience.

Helpful Resources

• KidsHealth
• Stop It Now
• RAINN

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FAQ’s About How to Teach Your Kids What to Do If Someone is Touching Them

What should my child do if someone touches them inappropriately?  
They should immediately say “no” firmly, move away from the person, and find a trusted adult to tell what happened.

How can I help my child feel comfortable talking about inappropriate touch?  
Create a safe, open environment where your child knows they can talk about anything without fear of punishment or judgment.

What if my child is too scared to say “no” when someone touches them?  
Teach them that moving away and telling a trusted adult is just as important as saying “no”; safety is the priority.

How often should I talk to my child about personal boundaries?  
Regularly bring up the topic in everyday conversations, such as during playtime or when watching TV, to reinforce the importance of personal boundaries and safety.

This post was originally published on 09/21/2023. It was updated on 09/06/2024.