How to Help a Child Who Struggles With Transitions

Some kids fall apart when it’s time to stop one thing and start another. Whether it’s bedtime, leaving the park, or switching classrooms, transitions can feel huge. This guide shares practical ways to make those moments easier—for both of you.

Key Takeaways:

• Use visual schedules to give your child a sense of control and predictability.
• Break transitions into smaller, manageable steps and explain each one.
• Use timers or countdowns to prepare kids before a change happens.
• Teach calming strategies and practice them when your child is not dysregulated.
• Stay consistent with language and routines to reduce uncertainty.

Prepare Your Child Ahead of Time

Transitions catch many kids off guard. For kids with thinking and learning differences, that surprise can lead to stress, resistance, or even shutdowns. Preparing your child ahead of time helps prevent this reaction by making the upcoming change feel familiar and expected.

Start by talking about what’s coming up—even if it feels small. For example, if your kid struggles with leaving the playground, give them a heads-up at least ten minutes before it’s time to go. Keep it simple: “In 10 minutes, we’re going to the car.” Then follow up with 5-minute and 2-minute reminders. These verbal cues help ease the transition from one activity to another. Don’t assume they know what’s next—make it clear and predictable.

Use Visual Schedules

Visual schedules are more than cute pictures on the wall. They give kids a concrete way to see what’s coming, especially when verbal language doesn’t stick. These tools reduce anxiety by laying out each step of the day in order.

You can use a printed chart with photos or icons, or digital versions like Goally. Show your child the schedule in the morning. Let them interact with it—move a magnet, tap an icon, or cross things off. This makes the schedule part of their routine, not just yours. Over time, it gives them a sense of independence and helps them internalize what’s next without being told over and over.

Build Custom Printable Visual Schedules

Is your child having trouble managing their routines? Here’s a free visual schedule builder. Goally’s custom tool allows you to create printable personalized schedules that motivate your child to focus on their tasks. Perfect for morning, homework, and bedtime routines, this free visual schedule builder is easy to use and will help your child reach their full potential.

Click below to make your CUSTOM printable visual schedule! 👇

Offer Clear and Consistent Language

Unclear instructions can make transitions harder than they need to be. When expectations change, kids need language that’s short, consistent, and non-negotiable. Avoid vague phrases like “Let’s wrap up soon.” Instead, say, “In 2 minutes, we’re putting toys away.”

Use the same transition words and phrases every time. That way, your child connects the language to the action. Think of phrases like: “First this, then that,” “Time to switch,” or “All done with ____, next is ____.” Over time, these cues create structure in your child’s mind, helping them shift gears more easily.

Break Transitions Into Smaller Steps

Some transitions are just too big to process all at once. Going from “free play” to “time for school” involves dozens of smaller steps—cleaning up, putting on shoes, grabbing a backpack. Breaking those transitions down helps kids understand what’s actually being asked of them.

Write or show each step. You can say: “First we put away the blocks, then we wash hands, then we get dressed.” It sounds obvious to you, but to a kid with sensory or processing challenges, it’s everything. Add visual supports if needed—photos, drawings, or checklists can do the heavy lifting when words fall short.

Use Timers and Countdowns

Time is abstract. For many kids, especially those with ADHD or executive functioning difficulties, “5 more minutes” means nothing without a visual or auditory cue. Timers and countdowns help translate that time into something tangible.

Use a digital timer, a sand timer, or an app that shows the passing of time. Set it and point it out: “When the timer beeps, we’ll go inside.” Some kids benefit from a visual countdown—removing one block every minute, or flipping over cards as time passes. These tools not only prep kids but also reduce power struggles. You’re not the bad guy; the timer is the neutral cue.

Validate Emotions and Offer Reassurance

Even with all the prep, transitions can still trigger strong emotions. That’s normal. What matters is how we respond. Kids aren’t being difficult—they’re having a hard time. Validate what they feel, even if it seems small to you.

Say things like, “I know it’s hard to stop playing,” or “You feel upset that we have to leave.” Then follow it with reassurance: “We can play again tomorrow,” or “I’ll help you.” Simple phrases like these calm the nervous system and show your child that they’re safe—even when things are changing.

Practice Transitions During Calm Moments

You can’t teach a new skill in the middle of a meltdown. Practicing transitions when your child is calm builds the tools they’ll need later. Think of it like exercise—it only works if you do it regularly, not just when there’s a problem.

Create “mock transitions” as games. Practice leaving the house, going to the car, or stopping an activity. Use the same cues and routines you’d use during real transitions. When things are playful and stress-free, your child can absorb the structure more easily and apply it later.

Use Positive Reinforcement

Kids respond to what gets attention. If they get praised or rewarded for smooth transitions, they’re more likely to do it again. Positive reinforcement doesn’t have to be candy or screen time. It can be a high-five, a sticker, or simply saying, “I saw how you stopped playing and came to the table—that was awesome.”

For kids who need extra motivation, use a reward chart. Choose one specific transition to work on. Every time they complete it without resistance, they get a check or token. After a few checks, they earn something they enjoy. Make it immediate and attainable. That way, your child sees success quickly and feels proud.

Build in Routines

Routines reduce uncertainty. When kids know what to expect, their brains can relax. Build predictable rituals around tricky transitions—songs, silly rhymes, or even a special handshake. These rituals become signals that help your child shift from one mode to the next.

For instance, sing the same clean-up song every night. Or always say the same bedtime phrase. This consistency becomes a comfort and reduces anxiety about what comes next. Over time, the routine does the work for you—no reminders needed.

Support Sensory Needs During Transitions

Some kids with learning disabilities or sensory differences feel overwhelmed during transitions because of changes in lighting, noise, or movement. That sensory overload can make it hard for them to focus or stay calm.

Pay attention to your child’s sensory profile. Do they need quiet when switching gears? Maybe noise-canceling headphones help. Do they need movement to regulate? Try jumping jacks or a bear crawl between activities. Meet their sensory needs before and during transitions to prevent meltdowns.

Offer Choices Within Structure

Kids crave autonomy. Offering small choices helps them feel in control, even when transitions are necessary. This works well for kids who resist being told what to do.

Give two options that lead to the same outcome: “Do you want to brush teeth before or after pajamas?” or “Should we go upstairs now or in 2 minutes?” This strategy reduces pushback while still guiding your child through the transition. It says: “You have power here.”

Reflect and Adjust When Needed

Not every strategy will work right away. If a transition continues to be difficult, reflect on what’s going on. Is your child tired? Overstimulated? Did the warning come too late?

Keep notes if needed. Patterns will emerge. Use that insight to adjust your approach. Parenting neurodivergent kids means staying flexible and learning from what didn’t work. There’s no perfect formula—but you’ll get closer with each tweak.

Transitions are tough for a lot of kids—but especially those with special needs. Whether it’s stopping a fun activity or shifting between environments, these moments require extra support, clear cues, and a lot of patience. When you give kids structure, predictability, and compassion, they build the tools to handle change with more confidence and less chaos.

Helpful Resources

• Understood.org
• CHADD.org
• Child Mind Institute

FAQ’s About How to Help a Child Who Struggles With Transitions

What are effective ways to prepare a child for transitions?
Discuss upcoming changes early and use visual schedules to help your child understand what to expect.

How can I create a consistent routine for my child?
Maintain regular timings for daily activities and use transition cues like verbal or visual signals to prepare your child for changes.

What strategies can help reduce my child's anxiety during transitions?
Teach deep breathing exercises and allow your child to use comfort items, such as a favorite toy or blanket, during transitions.

How can positive reinforcement help with transitions?
Offer specific praise and small rewards for successful transitions to build positive associations and motivate your child.

When should I seek professional help for my child's transition difficulties?
Consult a therapist if transitions are causing significant stress or disruption, and collaborate with school staff to develop individualized support plans.