Help! My Child Runs Away When Upset

When kids run away when upset, it’s often a natural response to stress, especially in neurodivergent children. Understanding the reasons behind this behavior and using practical strategies can help parents manage these challenging moments effectively.

Key Takeaways

• Children often run away when upset as a stress response, especially if they are neurodivergent.
• Overstimulation, anxiety, communication difficulties, and misunderstood boundaries are common triggers.
• Strategies like creating a safe space, teaching communication skills, and using positive reinforcement can help.
• Establishing clear boundaries and a safety plan are essential for managing this behavior.
• Seek professional help if the behavior significantly impacts daily life or poses safety concerns.

Why do children run away when upset? Children often run away when upset due to stress responses like overstimulation, anxiety, or communication difficulties, especially among neurodivergent kids. Understanding these triggers can help parents provide the right support and strategies to manage the behavior.

Why Your Child Runs Away When Upset

When a child runs away when upset, it’s often their natural response to a stressful situation. This “flight” reaction is one of the three primary responses to stress, along with “fight” and “freeze.” Let’s take a closer look at some of the reasons why your child might be running away:

• Overstimulation: Neurodivergent kids, particularly those with autism or ADHD, may become overwhelmed by sensory input, leading them to seek a quieter space.
• Anxiety: Kids with anxiety may feel the need to escape a situation that is causing them distress, as a means of self-preservation.
• Communication difficulties: Some kids with special needs may struggle to express their feelings or frustrations, causing them to run away instead of articulating their emotions.
• Misunderstood boundaries: Children might not understand the consequences of running away or the potential dangers, and they may see it as a valid coping mechanism.

Now that we’ve identified some possible triggers, it’s essential to find ways to support your child and help them cope with their feelings more effectively.

Strategies for Managing the Situation

Handling a child who runs away when upset can be challenging, but with the right strategies, you can help them navigate their emotions and manage their behavior. Here are five approaches to consider:

1. Create a Safe Space

Designate a calm and quiet area in your home where your child can retreat to when they feel overwhelmed. This safe space should be free from distractions and have comforting items, like blankets or plush toys, to help them self-soothe.

Make sure the safe space is easily accessible and that your child knows they can go there whenever they need to. Encourage them to use this space as a means of calming down and regaining control over their emotions.

Goally Can Help!

Imagine this scenario: You’re at the park with your child on a sunny day. Suddenly, your child runs away, leaving you panicked. Many parents know this fear. But Goally’s help app can help. This app is designed for kids and gives parents tools to handle behaviors like running away. With Goally, you can feel confident that your child is safe.

Read more: How to Cross the Street at a Traffic Signal

2. Teach Communication Skills

Encourage your child to express their feelings verbally or through alternative means, like drawing or using emotion cards. This can help them communicate their needs more effectively and reduce the need to run away.

Consistently practice these communication skills with your child, and celebrate their progress. Over time, they’ll become more comfortable expressing their emotions and less likely to flee from difficult situations.

3. Set Clear Boundaries

Establish clear rules and expectations about when it’s appropriate to leave a situation and when it’s not. Consistently reinforce these boundaries and discuss the potential dangers of running away.

Consider creating a visual reminder of these boundaries to help your child remember the rules. This can be a simple chart or poster that outlines when it’s okay to walk away and when they need to stay put.

Read more: Emotional Dysregulation Test

4. Positive Reinforcement

When your child manages their emotions without running away, praise and reward their efforts. Positive reinforcement can help them associate staying put with positive outcomes.

Some examples of positive reinforcement include verbal praise, a small treat, or extra time playing their favorite game. Find what motivates your child and use it to encourage them to stay in control of their emotions.

5. Develop a Safety Plan

Create a plan with your child outlining what they should do if they feel the urge to run away in public or at school. This may include finding a trusted adult or using a calming strategy before deciding to leave a situation.

Review the safety plan regularly and practice it with your child, so they know what to do if the need arises. This can help them feel more confident and prepared when faced with challenging situations.

When to Seek Professional Help

If your child’s flight response is significantly impacting their daily life or causing safety concerns, consider seeking professional help. A therapist or counselor specializing in neurodivergent kids or kids with thinking and learning differences can provide tailored support and guidance for your family.

Early intervention is crucial, so don’t hesitate to reach out for help if you’re struggling to manage your child’s behavior on your own. A professional can offer valuable insights and strategies that can make a real difference in your family’s life.

Understanding why your child runs away when upset is the first step to addressing this behavior. Use the strategies mentioned and seek professional help if needed to support your child in managing their emotions and developing better coping mechanisms. Patience and empathy are essential. Together, you can create a nurturing and supportive environment for your child to thrive in.

Resources:

• Healthy Children – American Academy of Pediatrics
• Child Mind Institute
• CDC – Essentials for Parenting

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FAQs about Child Runs Away When Upset

Why does my child run away when they are upset? 
Children often run away when upset as a way to escape overwhelming emotions or situations. It can be their way of coping with stress or trying to regain a sense of control.

Is it normal for children to run away when they are upset? 
Yes, it is a common behavior among young children, especially when they have not yet developed effective coping mechanisms. However, consistent running away may indicate a need for better emotional regulation strategies.

How can I help my child stop running away when they are upset? 
Teaching your child healthy coping skills and providing a safe space for them to express their emotions can help. Consistent routines and calm, supportive communication are also beneficial.

When should I be concerned about my child running away when upset? 
If the behavior is frequent, puts them in danger, or affects their daily functioning, it’s important to seek professional help. A pediatrician or child psychologist can provide guidance and support.

What strategies can I use to prevent my child from running away when upset? 
Preemptively discussing feelings, practicing calming techniques, and setting clear, consistent boundaries can be effective. Additionally, ensuring your child feels heard and understood can reduce their impulse to run away.

This post was originally published on 05/07/2023. It was updated on 08/28/2024.