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How to Get a Child to Eat When They Refuse?

How to get a child to eat when they refuse? An adolescent is sitting at the table, refusing to eat.

We’ve all been there – it’s dinner time, and your child refuses to eat the meal you’ve lovingly prepared. You’re not alone; an estimated 26.9% of children have problems at mealtimes! While this can be a frustrating experience for any parent, it can be especially challenging for those with children who have ADHD or Autism. So how do we get a child to eat when they refuse? The key lies in understanding your child’s unique needs and finding tailored solutions that work for them. Let’s dive into some helpful tips on managing mealtime struggles.

Have Patience When They Refuse To Eat

It might be easier said than done, but keeping your cool during mealtimes is crucial when figuring out how to get a child to eat when they refuse. Kids pick up on your emotions, so if you’re stressed or frustrated, they’ll sense it too! So take a deep breath; no one is perfect – not even our little ones.

Change isn’t easy for anyone – particularly kids with ADHD or Autism who thrive on routine and familiarity! That’s why patience is essential when introducing new foods or adjusting mealtime habits. Instead of expecting an overnight transformation, recognize that progress may come more slowly than anticipated.

Remember the “Rule of 15”: It can take about 15 exposures before a kid accepts a new food item readily! With each exposure (even just placing the food item near their plate), you’re helping them become comfortable around different tastes and textures.

Encouraging Progress, Not Perfection

When dealing with mealtime challenges like getting children to eat what’s served, focus on celebrating small victories rather than aiming for perfection right away. Maybe today they took one bite instead of none! Praise every step forward in building healthy eating habits because these positive reinforcements help keep your child motivated and confident. And most importantly, always remind yourself that you’re doing your best as a parent, and eventually, things will fall into place.

Use Good Food Parenting for the Long Run

When figuring out how to get a child to eat when they refuse, it’s essential to help them build healthy relationships with food from the start. Encourage curiosity by offering an assortment of flavors, textures, and colors without making mealtimes feel like a battleground! The more diverse their exposure is, the more likely they’ll be open to trying new things later on.

Avoid labeling foods as either good or bad since this can create unnecessary stress for your child (and yourself!). Instead, emphasize balance and moderation – it’s okay if your kid loves pizza; just pair it with some nutritious veggies!

How to get a child to eat when they refuse? A mom helps her daughter to prepare a meal.

Involve Your Child in Meal Planning & Preparation

Including kids in meal planning gives them ownership over what they eat while teaching valuable life skills such as decision-making and collaboration! Plus, children are more likely to try something they’ve had a hand in creating.

Cooking together not only helps you bond but also teaches essential skills like measuring ingredients, following directions, and practicing patience! These experiences contribute greatly to their overall development.

Use Structure and Systems to Make Feeding Easier 

Consistent routines provide predictability for both parents and kids alike, which can reduce stress related to mealtimes significantly!

By establishing clear expectations around when meals happen (e.g., breakfast at 7 am), you’re setting up everyone involved for success because there will be no surprises when it’s time to eat.

Implement Visual Schedules or Use Goally Software Tools

Visual aids like charts, timers, and apps like Goally can help kids with ADHD or Autism grasp what’s expected of them during mealtimes. This clarity promotes better communication and understanding, making mealtime struggles less daunting.


"We used Goally successfully with both my boys! " — Jennifer
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Structured systems not only improve communication but also provide the consistency that children with neurodiverse needs often crave. Apps like Goally offer fun routines, AAC tools (for non-verbal children), and engaging content – all designed to make life skills learning enjoyable while giving parents peace of mind!

Tips for Parents to Model Good Eating Behavior

Demonstrating Enjoyment When Eating Varied, Balanced Meals

Embodying a positive attitude towards food is crucial when teaching your kids how to get a child to eat when they refuse. Make sure you show enthusiasm and pleasure while eating diverse, well-balanced meals – this will encourage them to develop similar attitudes.

Minimizing Distractions During Mealtimes (e.g., Turning Off Screens)

With so many devices around us, it’s easy for mealtime focus to shift away from food and family bonding. To help keep everyone present at the table, minimize distractions by turning off screens or setting phones aside during dinner time.

How to get a child to eat when they refuse? A little girl sits at a table and smiles widely.
Read More: What is a Sensory Diet?

Tips for Kids to Communicate Their Feelings about Food

Encourage Open Conversations About Likes and Dislikes

Getting your child to eat when they refuse can be quite a struggle, but don’t worry, understanding their food preferences can make a huge difference. Take the time to have open conversations with your child about what they like and dislike, allowing you to create meal plans that cater to their specific tastes.

Goally tablet showing Mood Tuner, the emotional regulation app for kids to help them manage big emotions.

Once you have a clear understanding of their preferred foods, you can prepare nutritious and visually appealing dishes that make mealtimes enjoyable for the whole family. By customizing their meals to their preferences, you increase the likelihood of them being open to trying new foods while still maintaining a balanced diet. Remember, finding that sweet spot between their preferences and nutritional needs can help turn mealtime battles into delightful experiences for everyone involved.

Teaching Your Child to Express Their Feelings Using AAC Tools or Visuals

For children who face communication challenges due in part to ADHD or Autism spectrum disorders, using augmentative and alternative communication (AAC) tools like picture cards or apps can be a game-changer! These resources empower them by providing different ways of expressing themselves effectively.

Goally | Apps That Build Behavior & Life Skills for Kids

Want to keep your child motivated while building essential behavior and life skills? Goally’s skill-building tablet & suite of therapy apps are designed to celebrate small wins and help your child grow.

Our Rewards app gives kids points for completing daily routines and following “The Rules” on Goally. These points can be redeemed for exciting rewards or time in Goally’s game center. It’s a fun way to reinforce positive behavior and keep them motivated to learn new skills!

Our Behavior Tracker helps you reward your kiddo for specific skills, like “finish your dinner” or “ate your vegetables”.

By setting clear expectations and rewarding their efforts, you foster a positive environment for your child to flourish in their behavioral skills journey.

goally's behavior app chart for kids view on behavior list

Give Goally a try on any android, iOS, or Amazon device for as low as $15. Or, choose our distraction-free device (which ONLY has Goally on it) for $149 if you don’t want your kiddo sneaking onto Youtube every few minutes… 😉

As we wrap up, it’s important to remember that understanding your child’s unique needs is the key to overcoming mealtime challenges. Patience, persistence, and a tailored approach will go a long way in helping you figure out how to get a child to eat when they refuse. Prioritize good food parenting by offering diverse foods without pressure and involving your little one in meal planning and preparation. Make use of structured systems like Goally software tools to create the consistency that supports communication for kids with ADHD or Autism.

This post was originally published on 03/30/2023. It was updated on 06/05/2023.

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