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Disorganized Attachment Style in Kids | 5 Signs

disorganized attachment style. The infographic how how to develop a secure attachment style for your kid.

As a parent, you’re always on the lookout for ways to better understand your child’s behavior. If you’ve noticed some puzzling patterns in your neurodivergent kid’s interactions, it might be time to consider the possibility of a disorganized attachment style. In this blog post, we’ll look into five key signs of disorganized attachment style in kids, providing you with valuable insights and support to better support your child’s emotional well-being.

1. Inconsistent Responses to Caregivers

One of the most prominent signs of a disorganized attachment style is a child’s unpredictable response to their caregivers.

This can be quite confusing for parents, as the child might:

  • Seek comfort from their caregiver but then resist it when offered.
  • Display a mix of avoidant and clingy behaviors.
  • Show confusion or fear when their caregiver approaches.

Recognizing these inconsistent responses as a potential indicator of disorganized attachment style can help you better support your child and address their emotional needs.

2. Difficulty Regulating Emotions

Kids with a disorganized attachment style often struggle to manage their emotions effectively.

This can manifest in various ways, such as:

  • Intense emotional outbursts or tantrums.
  • Difficulty calming down after becoming upset.
  • Heightened sensitivity to stress or changes in routine.
disorganized attachment style.  A boy is with his dad.


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By understanding that these emotional challenges are in a disorganized attachment style, you can provide appropriate support and guidance. Tools like Goally can help your child build emotional regulation skills and navigate these challenges more effectively.

3. Disorientation and Confusion

Another sign of disorganized attachment style is a child’s tendency to display disoriented or confused behavior.

This might include:

  • Appearing dazed or “spaced out” during interactions.
  • Difficulty making sense of their surroundings or experiences.
  • Struggling to follow simple instructions or routines.

Recognizing these behaviors as potential indicators of disorganized attachment can help you better understand your child’s needs and provide appropriate support. Offering clear guidance and reassurance can make a significant difference in helping your child navigate their daily experiences.

4. Social Difficulties

Children with disorganized attachment styles often face challenges in their social interactions.

Some common issues include:

  • Difficulty forming and maintaining friendships.
  • Struggling to understand social cues or boundaries.
  • Feeling anxious or overwhelmed in social situations.
disorganized attachment style. A girl plays with her parents.

Supporting your child’s social development is crucial, and tools like Goally can help them build the skills they need to thrive in social settings. By fostering a nurturing environment and providing opportunities for social interaction, you can help your child overcome these challenges and form meaningful connections with others.

5. Fearful or Aggressive Behavior

Lastly, kids with disorganized attachment styles may exhibit fearful or aggressive behaviors.

This can look like this:

  • Being easily startled or frightened, even in familiar situations.
  • Acting out aggressively towards others or themselves.
  • Displaying a heightened sense of vigilance or wariness.

Understanding that these behaviors are in a disorganized attachment style can help you approach your child with empathy and provide the support they need. Encouraging open communication and offering reassurance can help your child feel more secure and confident in their environment.

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As your child develops new skills, you can increase the difficulty level of the tasks in the app to challenge and motivate them even further. This helps your child grow and progress at their own pace, while also keeping them engaged and excited about their development.

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Supporting Your Child with Disorganized Attachment Style

Recognizing the signs of disorganized attachment style in your child is the first step towards providing the support they need. By understanding their behaviors and challenges, you can help them build the skills necessary to form healthy relationships and navigate the world with confidence. Remember, tools like Goally can be a valuable resource in supporting your child’s emotional and social development. With patience, empathy, and the right strategies, you can make a positive impact on your child’s well-being.

This post was originally published on 05/10/2023. It was updated on 07/13/2023.

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